Wednesday, July 26, 2017


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I believe that art transcends time, place, and even its creator. If it doesn't, then it must not be art. Mel Gibson, a misogynistic anti-Semite who would feel right at home in the White House, has created yet another piece of non-art with the movie Hacksaw Ridge (2016, Rated R, Available On DVD and HBO).

I was appalled––appalled I tell you––when Mel Gibson received an Academy Award nomination for Best Director. A nod from the academy tends to mean "we forgive you for being a drunken asshole because you have created true art." Ha! In Hacksaw Ridge, Mel Gibson uses stock characters and clich├ęs to explore the paradox of a non-violent person in the middle of great violence. In other words, the theme is that one brave man working alone can become a Christ-figure during the hell that is war.

I did not add Hacksaw Ridge to my Netflix queue because I detest and despise Mel Gibson. But Hacksaw Ridge did receive quite a few award nominations, and won some, including two Academy Awards (thank God one was not Best Director for Mel Gibson). When it turned up on HBO a few nights ago, I thought, Okay. I'm not paying extra for it. I'll watch it.

I'm sorry I did except for the opportunity that it provides me to warn you that it is a hideous movie. Here are some examples of its stupidity:

  • Desmond Doss (Andrew Garfield) is the son of a drunk Virginia hillbilly who served in the Great War and deals with his PTSD by beating his wife and kids
  • Desmond follows his mama's example and become a devout Seventh-Day Adventist
  • Desmond falls in love at first sight with a nurse
  • Desmond feels he must enlist during Dubya Dubya Two
  • Desmond is a conscientious objector, whose commanding officer won't assign him to be the medic he was promised he could be
  • Therefore, the sergeant makes it clear to his men that they should beat the crap out of Desmond
  • He's about to be court-martialed when Hillbilly Daddy shows up in his Great War uniform and saves the day
  • Desmond goes off to the Battle of Okinawa and saves a shitload of men
  • Before the men go into battle a second time, they wait for Desmond to finish praying
  • Desmond saves a metric fuck-ton of men while running like Secretariat toward the finish line as glorious movie music plays and he chants, Please, God. Let me save one mo' (thick Virginia accent)
  • Desmond is finally appreciated
Some critics have called Hacksaw Ridge the first great war movie since Saving Private Ryan. No. It's not. Saving Private Ryan made me feel as if I were in the boat preparing to storm the beach. It made me care about its characters and what they experienced, no matter how awful it was. Hacksaw Ridge made me think about throwing up everything, including my toenails. It is repeatedly grotesque to the point that I would place it in the horror/slasher genre.

Tomorrow I hope to tell you about the real Desmond Doss, who was a true hero. Other than saying that Andrew Garfield gives a decent performance in spite of the dreck that surrounds him, I grant no Janie Junebug Seal whatsoever to Hacksaw Ridge.

View at your own peril.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

P.S. And what about the hair on these "soldiers"?

For a movie that supposedly goes to such pains to be realistic, why don't these guys have regulation haircuts?

Tuesday, July 25, 2017


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Words can have three parts: a suffix, a prefix, and a root.

A suffix comes after the root, as in added. The -ed indicates past tense. Pre means before, so a prefix is fixed before the word. The root is the basic word.

"In most dictionaries, a word part printed with a hyphen after it is a prefix. A word part with a hyphen before it is a suffix. Roots may appear anywhere."

Learning the meanings of suffixes, prefixes, and roots can assist you in your word comprehension. For example, son and phon mean sound.

sonorous: having or producing an impressive sound
sonic: of or relating to sound
phonograph: a machine that reproduces sound from a disk
phonetics: the study of the sounds of speech

audi = hearing
scop, spec, vid, and vis = see
ocul = eye
voc, vocal = voice, call
ped, pus = foot
man = hand
cardio = heart

I bet you recognize some or most of these roots and don't even have to think about their meanings when you see them.

We'll probably talk about more word parts next week.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

I leaned very heavily on my source to write this post. It's Vocabulary For A New World by Linda J. Palumbo and Frank J. Gaik.

Thanks, fishducky!

Monday, July 24, 2017


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

It's past time for my annual poust (in honor of British tradition I'm adding U to the spelling of as many wourds as poussible) on Trooping The Colour, which took place way back in June. It's an annual poust because I pousted about it last year and someone coummented that it was in very poor taste. I'm not one to miss an oppourtunity to shouw off my bad taste, so here we go again––better late than never.

Queen Elizabeth's birthday is April 21, but the official celebration of her birthday is during June when the weather is warmer, so the Trooping the Colour souldiers in their gigantic hats can stand still for hours and pass out from the heat. Soldiers who dare to pass out are shot immediately.

Trooping the Colour always features appearances by the Rouyal Family, especially on the balcouny. But why are they all looking up?

Of course! It's Queen Donald. He's oun the balcouny above theirs because he's more impourtant than anyone else in the wourld.

Royal? I don't think so.
I'm royal.
A royal pussy grabber!

Prince George thinks, Didn't I do this last year? I know they said I have to do this for the rest of my life, but I didn't think they really meant it.

While George perks up at the thought ouf birthday cake, William loousens his belt.

Queen Elizabeth wounders, Who is that little girl? I'm 91. I can't keep track ouf all these people, especially with Voldemort standing behind me again.

No one knouws who the guy on the left is, but they'll pretend he's suppoused to be there because of his fancy outfit.

The big day also included riding in carriages, as these foulks tend to do. Kate thinks, If I look straight ahead, I can pretend that hourse face isn't next to me.

Oh, gooudy. It's Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrice. Or Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie. No one is sure, but oune wounders why the family budget didn't include mouney for their orthoudontic work.

And as the happy celebratioun coumes to an end, Kate and William are all smiles because they knouw it's really all about them.

Farewell Glourious Rouyals until Her Majesty has 92, yes 92, candles oun her cake next year.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Thursday, July 20, 2017


I have an injury to my right wrist, so I'll take a few days off from blogging and commenting on your blogs to rest my arm and to ice it so the swelling goes down. Fortunately, it's not broken. Just sore.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Our Island Home

for b.

When we walk on the grounds of
           Our Island Home
We wave at the neighbors off in the distance
We don't call out a hello because our voices
Would waft away on the breeze.
We are alone on the grounds of
           Our Island Home

When we play on the beach at
           Our Island Home
We swim naked and free
We make love in the waves
We rest in the sand because
We are alone on the beach at
           Our Island Home

When we walk to the restaurant near
           Our Island Home
We feast on Northern Italian
We drink red wine 
We wander the roads until
We return from the restaurant alone to
           Our Island Home

We are happy on our own, completely alone, in
           Our Island Home

Thursday, July 13, 2017


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

Occasionally I visit a certain restaurant, and I swear Al Sharpton is always there. It's not really Al Sharpton, of course. I happen to think that this particular guy looks like Al Sharpton. You'll have to take my word for it because I won't invade "Al Sharpton's" privacy by photographing him.

Years ago, The Washington Post pointed out that then Secretary of State Warren Christopher

bore a very strong resemblance to

Kukla. Yes, that Kukla of

These days, I watch the news and every time I see Mitch McConnell

I wonder if his head will disappear into his shirt collar because he looks so much like a

I suspect we'll start to see more of the president's lawyer, Jay Sekulow, who has also played the part of

Mr. Burns' lawyer on The Simpsons (Favorite Young Man told me about this one; I can't stand The Simpsons).

And how about Jeff Sessions?

He's practically a ringer for

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug, who always looks like a queen (her tiara gives her away along with the frequent mention of "we are not amused")

Tuesday, July 11, 2017


Gentle Readers . . . and Maxwell,

I'm a firm believer in spell check, but I admit that once or twice or twenty times I have ignored the red line under a word because I was convinced that I knew better than spell check. Being corrected by my loyal subjects has taught me to check a dictionary when that red line appears, which I can do without getting out of my chair because dictionaries are available online.

I know I'm not the only person who has ignored the red lines because I've received manuscripts from clients that have words with the telltale red lines that alert me to a misspelled word.

However, some writers turn off spell check because the red lines drive them crazy. If you can't bear the red lines, you can still spell check your Word document by going to the Review tab and clicking on the first icon that says Spelling & Grammar underneath a capitalized ABC.

As soon as the spell checker finds a misspelled word, you'll see a box that looks like this:


As you can see, you also get suggestions for possible correct spellings. If the suggestions all seem incorrect to you, or if you're convinced that your spelling is correct (and it might be), then it's time to ask the dictionary for help.

I lurve spell check because even Your Queen of Grammar makes misteaks.

I also have some good news for you. Employers have started to take an interest in Your Queen. As a results, I'm out gallivanting around (as Willy Dunne Wooters says) more than usual.

Infinities of love,

Janie Junebug

Thanks, fishducky!