Friday, April 8, 2011

HICCUPS AND WATERBOARDING

Gentle Readers,

Someone I love and I have been having an argument, oh, for about 20 years now, about how to stop hiccups. This someone can be incredibly annoying because this someone hiccups and stops but once this someone gets started hiccuping, the hiccuping continues on and off for the rest of the day.

This began as an attention-getting device when this someone was very young.

I have always told this someone, Hold your breath.

This someone says, That doesn't work.

I say, It might not work the first time, but if you do it over and over, the hiccups will stop, or you will pass out. Either way, it will be the end of the hiccups.

This someone refuses to cooperate, preferring to annoyingly hiccup the day away.

During our most recent hiccup day argument, Favorite Young Man chimed in and said that he knew how to stop hiccups. He said, You lean your head back, pinch your nose, and someone pours water down your throat. You get very wet and it stops the hiccups.

We were surprised to learn that waterboarding stops hiccups but were pleased to realize that when our government waterboards prisoners, it's not torture. It's just to cure the prisoners' hiccups.

What a revelation.

Infinities of love,

Lola

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